What if the secret of eternal love is living in separate houses?
Top 5 facts about What if the secret of eternal love is living in separate houses?
1. The concept of living in separate houses for eternal love is based on the idea that couples can maintain their individual identities and interests while still being in a committed relationship.
2. This arrangement allows partners to have their own space and privacy while still being able to spend quality time together.
3. It can be seen as a way to preserve the passion and excitement in a relationship, as well as allowing couples to pursue their own interests and goals without sacrificing their relationship.
4. Living in separate houses can also help couples to develop better communication skills, as they must be able to express their feelings and needs in order to make the arrangement work.
5. This type of living arrangement is becoming increasingly popular among couples, as it allows them to maintain their independence while still having a strong and loving relationship.
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Living together is difficult: shared spaces, shared time, less time for oneself.
** 15 things that happen when you move in together **
And since nowadays when it comes to autonomy and freedom people are not willing to compromise, we are seeing a strange phenomenon on the rise: that of engaged couples who decide not to live together, each staying in their own home.
A real revolution that is changing traditional models of romantic relationships.
But why is it on the rise? Because perhaps it is the right key to safeguarding passion and love.
Or maybe not.
What LAT stands for
The phenomenon is so rampant that it already has a name. And even an acronym: LAT.
LAT (which stands for Living Apart Together) couples are growing in number, and it is more common to encounter them in large metropolises.
These are official boyfriends who decide by mutual agreement not to live together, each staying in their own home but continuing the relationship on a regular basis.
Women are least likely to want to cohabitate
According to data collected by dating site Parship.com, less than one-third of singles dream of cohabiting, let alone marrying.
The survey conducted also found that women are the least likely to want to cohabitate: among young singles, 18 percent admitted that they would like to be engaged but without living with a partner.
While only 8% of men, on the other hand, want to maintain independence at home.
Could it be because, despite emancipation and equality, it is on women that the bulk of household management ends up multiplied by two?
The pros of living in separate homes
Living in separate homes has unquestionable advantages, the same ones we savored when we were engaged but lived together with our parents.
First and foremost, limited responsibility plays no small role: if you don’t share space, you don’t share domestic duties and burdens either, those that in the long run risk blowing couples’ harmony.
Tasks such as cleaning the house, throwing out the garbage, and keeping the bathroom tidy do not belong to the couple. The result? One feels relieved of tasks and responsibilities.
When cohabiting it is also easier and more insidious to fall into the daily routine at the love level, instead meeting only when one really wants to makes one savor a freedom of choice that is in itself positive on anyone’s psychological well-being.
The novelty effect also never wanes: one gets the impression of having a date with one’s better half while sharing a home this would not happen.
In separate homes, one tends to groom oneself more to please the other more, which if one shares the same bed decays since one sees each other in pajamas, made-up and anything but groomed.
The cons of living in separate houses
However, there are also cons. First, loneliness, which is inevitable if you spend nights and long periods at home without a partner physically present. Being alone, without sharing time and space with anyone, is likely to solidify this habit with the result that in the long run it will become increasingly difficult to welcome someone else into one’s home life.
Finally, living under different roofs could give others cause to think that your relationship does not is so serious, risking fueling possible advances from third parties.
What the Science of Cohabitation Says
Eric Klinenberg, a sociologist and director of the Institute for Public Knowledge in New York City, discusses the growing phenomenon of couples wanting to remain domestically separated in his essay Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone.
Living alone once caused sadness and fear while today privileged people use economic resources to buy themselves privacy, an autonomous space.
A once unthinkable choice that in the present instead promotes modern values such as freedom, autonomy and personal fulfillment.
According to psychotherapist Lucy Beresford being together without cohabitation allows a balance between independence and emotional commitment, as she states in her book Happy Relationships.
In contrast, Simon Duncan, professor emeritus of social policy at the University of Bradford, is less enthusiastic than his colleagues about LAT relationships.
Often the choice to live apart can be a ‘negative preference,’ a choice to preserve the relationship when living together is unbearable, he wrote in the book Reinventing Couples.
What one is really afraid of
The fear of cohabitation is one related to time: one is afraid of having to reduce the amount of time to devote to oneself. The time of selfishness in short.
Giving up evenings with friends, the time you devote to sports and hobbies, this is what you fear on a practical level.
Accustomed as we are to long periods when we move out of the parental home and go to live on our own-unlike until a few generations ago-it is increasingly difficult to return to sharing space with someone.
Compromising is a luxury few can afford. Mainly because most believe it is not a luxury at all, quite the contrary.
Famous LAT Couples
Among VIP LAT couples, one of the most historic is feminist writer Simone de Beauvoir and philosopher Jean Paul Sartre.
Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera also lived in two separate houses in Mexico, connected by a garden.
For them it was more an artistic than a love affair, somewhat like Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, who lived from 2001 to 2014 in sepainstallments (connected by a corridor) despite the birth of two children.
Bibliographer Michael Holroyd and writer Margaret Drabble also each live happily in their own homes, same for English singer Louise and soccer player Jamie Redknapp.
The middle way: separate beds
There are those who choose the compromise, that is, shared house but separate rooms.
These are not couples in crisis, so-called separated at home, but if anything, couples who opt for this choice to improve the quality of sleep.
Some people snore, some talk in their sleep, some get up a hundred times to go to the bathroom, some fidget during the night, and some stay with the light on for hours reading-all of these behaviors risk disturbing others’ sleep, which is why sleeping separately is often a good idea especially for health.
In fact, disturbed sleep causes unpleasant consequences such as reduced ability to concentrate, sleepiness during the day, fatigue, irritability, and a debilitated mental and physical state.
Which can negatively affect on multiple levels, from work to the love relationship itself.
While separate beds mean little intimacy and few late-night hugs, when you decide to get into your partner’s bed, it is certainly not to snore or read late.
This article is about the phenomenon of LAT (Living Apart Together) relationships, which are becoming increasingly popular among couples who don’t want to compromise their autonomy and freedom. It discusses the pros and cons of living in separate homes, as well as the responses from experts and famous couples who have chosen to live separately. It also looks at the idea of sleeping in separate beds, which can be beneficial for health and improve the quality of sleep.
Written by Eloise Bouton. Website – https://eloisebouton.org/.